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Mujhe kabhi bhi pyaar nahi mila. Main 24 ka ho gaya hu aur meri zindagi mai jo bhi aaya hai, woh na sirf jaane ke liye hi aaya hai. Main bahut kareeb hota hu pyaar ke, per har baar, kisi ko apna ex yaad aa jaata hai, kisi ko end waqt per koi dusra pasand aa jaata hai, kisi ko mujh mai dost se zyada kuch nazar hi nahi aata, koi sure nahi hota hai aur koi achanak hi baat band kar deta hai. Main apne aap ko mitaane ki haalat tak pahuch gaya tha, per ussey bhi kuch nahi hu. Aisa lagta tha ki pyaar ki tarah mujhe maut bhi naseeb nahi hogi. Maine ummeed chodh di thi. Ted ki tarah main bhi bhatak raha tha. Main uss unsaan ko miss karne laga tha, jissey main ab tak kabhi mila bhi nahi tha. Bass sochta rehta tha uske baare mai ki koi to aisa hoga jisko mujhse pyaar hoga.
Pyaar tumhe dono case mai pagal kar deta hai. Milne per bhi aur na milne per bhi. Woh baat alag hai ki dono situations mai alag-alag tarah ka pagalpann hota hai.
Aur jab mujhe bilkul bhi ummeed nahi thi, tab kuch aisa hua ki mujhe laga bass ab to ho gaya. Main apne relative ke yahan per kisi ke birthday mai gaya hua tha, tabhi maine ek ladki ko dekha. Bahut hi khoobsuart, behad masoom aur kya kahu, woh mujhe bilkul mere hi khayaal si lagi thi. Maine usko tab to kuch nahi bataya, kyunki meri itni himmat hi nahi ho rahi thi ki main khudh ussey jaa kar baat karu. Aur phir shuru hui meri ek tarfa pyaar ki kahaani.........,
Main uske sapne dekhne laga. Khwaabon mai woh, yaadon mai woh aur baatein bhi bass ussi ki hua karti thi, lekin sirf meri mujhse hi. Main khudh hi apne aapko uske baare mai bataata tha, kyunki ab meri himmat hi nahi hoti thi kisi dusre ko apni baat bataane ki. Phir kayi saal tak meri ussey mulaqaat bhi nahi hui, mulaqaat to chodho maine usko kabhi dekha bhi nahi. Lekin mujhe pyaar ho gaya tha, ya yuh kaho ki main ek tarfa pyaar ki gaadi per sawaar ho gaya tha. Main bass uske baare mai sochne laga. Kisi bhi couple ko dekhta tha na, to unko dekh kar main usko apne saath imagine karne laga. Aur bass chalti rahi meri ek tarfa pyaar ki kahaani kuch issi tarah.........,
Baat 4 saal puraani hai, jab hamari phir se mulaqaat hui. Pata nahi iss baar kis karan hum mai baat hui ? To jab hamari baat hui to maine dekha, ki uske aur mere interests kaafi milte the. Hamari baat hona chalu hui. Numbers exchange huye. Phir wahi jo sab ki kahaniyo mai hota hai. Hamari din-raat khoob baatein hui. Flirt hona chalu hua, baat thodi aur aage badhi. Phir ek dusre ke kehne per humne ek dusre ko propose bhi kiya. Dono hi side se mohabbat ab hone lagi thi. Mohabbat hone ke baad hamari pehli mulaqaat bhi hui, phir dusri, phir teesri. Sab sahi chal raha tha. Hum dono hi khush the.
Woh Moradabad mai rehti thi aur main Delhi mai. Long distance nahi chalte hai, right ? Per yaar hamara rishta ab itna gehra ho chuka tha ki ab hamein iss long distance se bhi koi dikkat nahi thi. Hamari phir bhi khoob baat hoti thi. Message per baat hui, video calls per. As such koi kami nahi lagi. Hum inte door hote huye bhi behad kareeb the ek dusre ke. Usne mujhe ek gift bhi diya tha aur woh watch mere pass abhi bhi hai. 3 saal se bhi uper ho chuka tha hamein relationship mai ab. Sach batun to zindagi khoobsurat lag rahi thi mujhe. Main pagalon ki tarah har time smile karte rehta tha. Har waqt dard mai rehne wala main, main ab har pal khushi mai jeene laga tha. Main ab khush rehta tha.
Aur jab mere saath sab sahi hone lagta hai na, tab mujhe ek shak bhi hone lagta hai. Shak, apni qismat ka. Mujhe darr lagne lagta hai ki shayad kuch galat hone wala hai, aur mera darna bhi laazmi tha, kyunki mujhe apni qismat per poora bharosha hai ki mere saath kabhi kuch sahi hota hi nahi tha. Khair, maine socha ki abhi sab kuch sahi chal raha hai to, abhi issi waqt ko jeete hai, kal kisne dekha hai. Main present mai jeene laga. Per meri qismat ka kal hamesha kharaab hi raha hai.
Aur phi wahi hua jiska mujhe darr tha. Kyunki mere saath zyaada time tak kuch sahi hota bhi to nahi hai na. Phir usne phoda sabse khatarnaak bomb, jisne mere dil ke phir se tukde-tukde kar diye. Itne kareeb aa kar woh mujhse sab ki tarah door chala gaya. Aur main abhi tak ussey ubhar nahi paaya hu.
Baat pichle saal ki hai, jab sab kuch sahi jaa raha tha, to beech mai usne mujhse baat karna kam kar diya. Woh mere jokes per hasti bhi nahi thi aur apne din ke baare mai bhi baat hi nahi karti thi. Mujhe laga ki isko kya ho gaya. Bahut poochne ke baad usne bataya, ki uske ghar walo ne uska rishta pakka kar diya hai. Aur 23 saal ki umar mai hi uski shaadi bhi ho gayi. Ab 8 maheene ho gaye hai beete huye iss baat ko. Woh khush hai uske saath mai. Main bhi usko khush dekh kar uske liye khush hona chahta hu, per ho nahi paata. Uski tohfe mai di hui watch abhi bhi hai mere pass aur main uski di hui watch har rozz iss ummeed mai pehanta hu ki kaash woh waqt phir se laut aaye aur main yeh ghadi wahi per rok du. Per mujhe kabhi bhi pyaar nahi mila. Main 24 ka ho gaya hu aur meri zindagi mai jo bhi aaya hai, woh na sirf jaane ke liye hi aaya hai.
-M. N².
