Milna hoga to aage kabhi mil hi jayenge
Tab tak ke liye, dost hi theek hai hum filhaal.
To half yearlys vegereh ab khatam huye. Sach bataun to exams mere bilkul bhi acche nahi gaye. Issiliye bhi kyunki Haniya ka khayaal mere zehen se hatt hi nahi raha tha. Woh meri wajah se hi meri nahi ho saki, yeh baat main dimaagh se nikaal hi nahi paa raha tha.
Ghar pe bhi daant padi mujhe, kyunki iss baar number sach mai hi bahut kam aaye the. Uss wajah se bhi chup-chup rehne laga tha. Raat ko bhi khaali bure sapne hi aate the. To maine bhi ab soch liya tha ki padhaayi pe ab zyaada dhiyaan dunga. Haniya to meri hone se rahi, to uske baare mai soch kar bhi kya hi karunga ?
Lekin phir bhi jab usey Nibin ke saath dekhta tha na to bura to lagta tha. Per main kuch kar bhi nahi sakta, to apne emotions hi rok leta tha. Woh dono khush the relationship mai aane ke baad. Main bhi khush tha unke liye bass ek fake smile ke saath. Gussa mujhe iss baat ka bhi tha ki Nibin ke number bhi mujhse zyaada aaye the iss baar. Physics aur maths ke saare concepts usey maine clear karwaaye aur itne acche khaase marks se woh ho gaya pass.
To main bhi lag gaya tayyaari mai ki finals mai to badhiya karna hai. Yeh pyaar-vyaar jitna bhi andar umadh raha hai, usey abhi apne andar hi daba ke rakhna hai. Per koi mujhe padhne de tab na, yahan Haniya aur Nibin ke draame hi khatam nahi hote the. Ab unn dono ke beech mai zara si bhi nok-jhok hui to woh dono aake pata nahi mujh pe hi jhadhte the. Relationship se pehle jab dost the tab to aise jhagadte nahi the. Jhagadte bhi the to zara si baat pe block-vlock to nahi karte the.
Relationship mai aane ke baad badalna zaroori hota hai kya ? Bina jhagde nahi reh sakte hai. aur unki ladaayi mai dono ki safaayi, main sunta rahu. Lekin hamesha aapas mai khudh hi suljha lete hai. Jab friends relationship mai ho na, aur common friend unke tum ho, to jeena aur dono ko sambhaalna bahut hi mushkil ho jaata hai. Ek pal break up ke baad dusre hi pal, patch up kar lete hai Aur unn dono ke beech mai tumhara dimaagh kharaab ho jaata hai.
Mera bhi rozz ka yahi haal tha, unn dono ki zindagi meri zindagi bann chuki thi. Hamaare whatsapp group pe bhi memes se zyaada pyaar aur break-ups ki shayari bhar chuki thi. Per yeh sab baatein agar side karo to dil pe patthar rakh ke yeh bolna padega, ki dono bilkul perfect couple nazar aate the. Main bhi sochta rehta tha ki agar main Haniya ke saath hota to kaisa lagta ? Per woh sab baatein mehez baatein thi.
Dheere-dheere waqt beeta aur syllabus bhi apna khatam ho gaya. Ab tuition mai keval revisions aur tests hote rehte the. Main bhi dheere-dheere improve kar hi raha tha. Ab marks bhi mere theek thak hi aa rahe the. Woh bhi bilkul ek dum hi dekhne waala scene tha ki achanak hi padhaayi ke liye sab serious ho gaye. Exams dete-dete hi 12th class kat rahi thi aur dekhte hi dekhte ab pre board bhi khatam ho gaye.
Ab bass 2 maheene bache the boards aane mai. Entrance ki tayyaari bhi chal rahi thi aur tayyaari accha result laane mai. Teachers bhi hamaare liye bahut hi mehnat kar rahe the. Koi bhi kasar chodhna nahi chahte the, issiliye extra class bhi le rahe the. Aur yeh exams ke pressure ki wajah se hi milna jhulna bhi band kar rakha tha. To bass yeh extra class hi ek bahana tha, jahan Haniya ko dekhne mil jata tha.
Main khudh ko distract nahi karna chahta tha per usey dekhe bina aaj kal reh bhi nahi paata tha. Main chaahe khudh ko kitna bhi mana lu, per aaj bhi ussey utna hi pyaar karta hu. Aur yeh baat main usey boards ke baad zaroor bataunga. Kyunki bojh sa hai ek, bass usey rihaa karna chahta hu. Aur iss tuition ke bhi bass ab kuch hi din bache hai. Miss to bahut karunga inn dino ko. Pehle to mann hi nahi kar raha tha yahan aane ka. Aur ab dil nahi kar raha yahan se jaane ko. Haniya ko bhi main sab sach-sach bataana chahta hu shuruaat se. Ek-ek cheez bataunga usey, kyunki bhara-bhara sa lagta hai ab inn jazbaat se.
Per uss mai abhi waqt hai, priority abhi hai ki padh lete hai. To apne dimaagh ko phir distraction se hataaya maine. Aur apna dimaagh uske khayaal se hata ke Board ki taraf lagaaya maine. Aaj kal hum tuition ke baad momos khaane bhi nahi jaa rahe the. Jitna bhi khaali time milta tha uss mai bhi integration hi solve kiye jaa rahe the.
To ab maheene beete aur board exams bhi shuru. Dimaagh mai bhi bass yahi chal raha tha ki kya hone waala hai kaise karu ? Har exam ke baad Nibin, Haniya aur Main, paper discuss karte the. Nibin to 70 mai se 40 pe bhi khush ho jaata tha per Haniya aur main hi tension lete rehte the. Maths ka paper mera utna khaas nahi hua kyunki kaafi tough aaya tha. Kuch bol rahe the ki grace marks milenge to bass ussi ka aakhiri sahaara tha.
Aur padhte-padhte yeh tension ka maheena march bhi beet gaya. Lekin boards khatam huye to ab Entrance ka darr chaalu ho gaya. Maine socha tha ki boards ke baad Haniya se milunga per kabhi mere paas time nahi rehta tha, kabhi uska mushkil tha nikalna. Lekin mujhe ussey mil kar usey bataana bhi to hai. Apne andar ka yeh bojh abhi hataana bhi to hai.
Rozz soch-soch ke, taal-taal ke din beet rahe the. Kal bol dunga kar-kar ke maheene bhi beet gaye the. Woh bhi itni mashgool thi padhaayi mai ki Nibin se bhi mil nahi rahi thi. Entrance exams bhi de diye the ab bass saare results aane ki ghadhi thi.
Aur board ka result jab aaya to Haniya ke 93% mere 89.4% aur Nibin ke 73% the. Apne-apne result se koi bhi udaas nahi hua sab bahut hi zyada khush the.
To ab to Haniya se milna hi chahiye hai na ? Milta tha per akele nahi mil paata tha. Rozz practice kar ke jaata tha ki kaise bolna hai per kabhi keh hi nahi paata tha. To bass pehle ki tarah main kal-kal kar ke taale jaa raha tha. Kyunki jab ussey bolne ki koshish karta tha Nibin saamne aa jaata tha.
Ab to june bhi khatam hone ko aa raha tha aur khabar mili ki Haniya ka admission Jaipur mai hone waala tha. Aur agle hi hafte woh nikal bhi rahi thi Bijnor se Jaipur ke liye. Mere paas bhi kuch bacha hi nahi, alvida se zyaada kuch kehne ke liye. Yeh process karne mai hi time lag raha tha, usey meri baat pata to honi chahiye na. Jaane se pehle usey bataana to padega, nahi to yeh bojh mere andar aise hi palta rahega na.
Aur ussi mai sochte-sochte woh din bhi maine nikaal diye. Ab woh din aaya jab woh jaane waali thi. To uske ghar ki taraf maine apne kadam badha liye. Nibin out of station family ke saath chuttiyan manaane gaya hua tha. Woh Haniya ko alvida nahi kar paa raha tha, usey iss baat ka bura bhi lag raha tha.
To main akela hi uske ghar gaya. Haan...thoda sa late bhi ho gaya. Woh apna samaan leke bahar khadhi thi bass thodi der mai nikal hi rahi thi. Uske papa uska car mai wait kar rahe the. Woh bass mujhse milne ke liye ruk gayi. Usey dekh kar muskuraaya main aur tohfe ke taur pe uske haath mai photo frame thama diya. Woh hum teeno ki photo jiss mai woh, Nibin aur main khul ke hass rahe the. Woh bhoole nahi hamein issiliye yeh tohfa diya.
Main ek letter likh ke bhi laaya tha usko dene ke liye. Letter keh lo ya ek kavita likhi thi uske liye jiss mai directly to nahi lekin apne dil ki baat aur ek izhaar kiya tha uske zariye. Socha maine yeh padh ke usey andaaza lag jaayega. Aur yeh jazbaato ka wazan jo leke ghoom raha hu main yeh bhi utar jaayega.
Woh frame dekh ke bahut hi khush hui. Aankhon mai aanshu bhi dekhe maine uske. 2 saal ke woh tuition ke din, ek pal mai hi yaad aa gaye.
'I'll miss you' - Usne haath pakad ke kaha mujhse.
Maine bola - 'Ek aur cheez hai mere pass tumhe dene ke liye.'
Maine woh paper usko diya.
Usne kaha - 'Yeh kya hai ?'
Maine kaha - 'Khud abhi padh ke dekho na.'
Aur usne woh letter padhna shuru kiya. Main soch raha tha usey samajh to aa jayega na ? Bahut dino baad kavita likhne ki try ki hai maine. Usey mera likha hua pasand to aayega na ?
Woh mere saamne mann-mann mai padh rahi thi aur uske chehre ke bhaav badal rahe the. Kabhi hassti thi, kabhi sharmaati thi. Mujhe pata hi nahi chal raha tha ki yeh ishaare kahan ishaara kar rahe the. Main bhi muskura raha tha ghabrahat mai. Pareshaani nazar aa rahi thi meri muskurahat mai. Directly bolne ki himmat nahi thi mujh mai to indirectly metaphors use karke likha tha. Thoda dhiyaan se aur pyaar se agar padhegi zara, to mere dil ki baat samajhna behad aasaan tha.
Aur issi ke saath usne woh padh ke khatam kiya. Hass bhi rahi thi woh aur saath hi saath usne blush bhi kiya. Main khush tha uska yeh expression dekh ke. Intezaar kar raha tha ki shayad ab woh kuch bole.
Usne bola – 'This is so sweet...kitna pyara hai yeh yaar. Bahut pyara likha hai accha laga padh ke mujhe...sach mai.'
Main aage kuch poochna chaah raha tha ussey. Lekin woh taareef kar rahi thi to rokta kaise ?
Usne kaha - 'Mujhe pata nahi tha ki woh likhta bhi hai. Tumne yeh letter padha kya..................?'
Maine socha kya matlab ki maine padha ? Arey yaar yeh maine hi to likha hai. Ek minute....to phir isne kya samjha ?
Usne Mujhe bolne ka mauka hi nahi diya aur aage bola - 'Ki main pehli line padh kar hi samajh gayi thi ki yeh Nibin ne hi likha hoga. Bada pyaara hai yaar woh. Itna deep usey likhne mai kaafi time laga hoga. Tum dono ke hi gifts mujhe bahut acche lage. Nibin ko bol diyo miss kar rahi thi usey. Chalo bye phir, late ho raha hai, active rahenge apne whatsapp group pe.
Mujhe samajh hi nahi aaya yahan kya ho gaya mere saath ? Thoda dhiyaan diya to yaad aaya letter pe to mera naam hi nahi tha, bass M. N. hi to likha hua tha. To kya usey laga ki Mohd Nibin ? Usey kyun nahi laga ki M. N. se mera bhi to naam hai Mohd Naushad ?
Haan.....bhool gaya tha letter pe poora naam likhna main, ya likhna zaroori hi nahi samjha har baar ki tarah.
Per yeh kavita maine likhi hai, yeh to useey apne aap samajh aa jaana chahiye tha, mere alfaaz padh kar. Main usey rok kar bataana chahta tha ki yeh maine likha hai tumhare liye. Mann-mann mai rok bhi raha tha per zubaan se ek shabdh hi nahi nikla usey rokne ke liye.
Main uss bojh se rihaayi paane aaya tha. Iss aakhiri mauke pe dil ka haal sunaane aaya tha. Woh baith gayi car mai. Maine himmat kar ke usey rokne ke liye haath dikhaaya. Usne woh shayad good bye ka ishaara samjha aur door se hi usne bhi apna haath hilaaya.
Main abhi bhi bata sakta hu usey ki woh letter maine likha hai. Per ab rehne do yaar. Usne jo samjha, theek hi samjha, uske liye wahi accha hai shayad. Shayad yahi hona tha.
Khushi-khushi alvida kar diya maine usey uss waqt. Waise bhi aakhiri moment pe usey shock dene ka koi faayda nahi tha uss waqt. To usko issi bhram mai rehne do, woh khush hai to wahi sahi, usko khush rehne do.
Aakhirkaar usko keh kar bhi keh nahi paaya main. Aisi qismat dekhi hogi kahin ? Dost hi theek hai hum filhaal. Lekin aage pata nahi ab kab mil paayegi ? Per jab bhi mere likhe letter ko padhegi na kabhi, kitna ajeeb hai na yaar, usey meri nahi.....Nibin ki yaad aayegi.
-M. N².
