| Woh thi ek khayaal ki tarah, jisey bass socha ja sakta tha |
Uski mulakaat ke ab 5 mahine ho chuke the. Uski yaadon tale aur kitna dabta, jo mere ab exams bhi shuru ho rahe the. To thaan liya maine ki ab bass padhayi per focus karna ha. Uski 'All the Best' sun'ne ko nahi mili to kya hua ? Accha perform to karna hai.
To laga diya apna saara dimaagh padhayi per. Paper acche guzar rahe the aur beech mai uska birthday aa gaya tab. To maine socha usey raat ke 12 baje call karke wish karunga. Aur inn 5 mahino ke dauraan meri ussey bass do dafa baat hui thi, to thoda ajeeb bhi lag raha tha. Issey pehle maine kisi ko bhi raat ko call kar ke wish nahi kiya tha. Kuch sawaal umad rahe the mann mai, ki usne call nahi uthaya to kaisa lagega ? To maine socha try karte hai, darr ke aage jeet hai. Nahi uthaya to kuch nahi, utha liya to theek hai. Exams ki raat waise bhi main kaafi late soota tha. Room bhi mera sabse alag, to try maarne ka accha mauka tha.
Padhte-Padhte intezar bass uss khoobsurat aadhi raat ka. Aisi situation mai padhayi kaun kare, jab waqt lag raha ho khwaab sa. Raat ka sannaata, bass main jaga hua tha. Dekhte hi Dekhte baj gaye 12. Dil ki dhadhkan tezz hui, phone pe ungaliyan meri chalne lagi. Maine call usey laga diya. Itni shaanti thi ki mujhe laga koi meri aawaz sunke mere kamre tak na aa jaaye. Main bahar nikla kamre se, pahuch gaya balcony mai. Phone ko kaan pe lagaaye - 'The number you are trying to reach is currently busy call again later.' Yeh baat jaayaz thi, uske bahut se chahne waale hai, to line to busy hogi hi. Maine socha thode time baad phir se try karunga, utha liya to theek hai nahi to chodh dunga.
12:15 baje maine phir se lagaaya, aur iss dafa ring gayi. Main khush, main pagal, main nervous. Baat start kaise karunga yeh to socha hi nahi ? 3 ring ke baad usne uthaaya call.
Maine bola - 'Hello'
Usne poocha - 'Kaun ?'
Dena pada intro phir se ek baar. Doosre number se call kiya tha, ab har number save thodi na hoga yaar.
Maine wish kiya usey, - 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY'
Reply mai thank you aur shayad woh kaat rahi thi cake. Samajh hi nahi aaya ki aage kya bolu ? to good night keh ke rakh diya. Jo darr tha nikal gaya. Behad khush main, maine finally usey wish kar diya. Exams ke beech ki tension mai yeh baat badi acchi hui. Feelings jo jaan ke mari hui thi, woh wapas se trigger hui. Ab saare paper khatam kar ke vaccations chaalu ho gayi. Ab kuch plans the, jinhe poora karna tha, jinki shuruaat bhi tabhi se ho gayi.
Dost bhi mere baar-baar kehte the bhai ab to aaja facebook pe. Paper bhi finish ho chuke hai jaata kya hai use karne mai ? Maine bhi socha yeh accha mauka rahega ussey baat-cheet karne ka. Whatsapp woh zyaada use karti nahi, facebook pe hi aazmaate hai tareeka. Waise bhi text pe main zyada comfortable, call pe baat kar nahi paata.
Friend request send kardi maine. Ab poore din chaalu rehta tha data. Ek din baad request accept hui meri. Hii main pehle bheju ki woh bhejegi ? To desperate na dikhaate huye apne aap ko, maine kuch der intezaar kar ke text kiya usko.
Maine likha, - 'Hii'
Uska aaya nahin reply.
Do din baad tak bhi, main intezaar mai aankhein bichaaye. Phir maine kuch aur kiya try. Iss baar 'Hey' likha in place of 'Hii'. Thandi ho gayi chai, per inbox khaali, no reply.
Woh active to lagbhag poore din hi rehti hai, shayad messages check nahi karti hogi. Maine bhi chodh diya, ab baar-baar text kya karun ? Kabhi seen kiya to reply de degi.
Aur agle din...kiya usne seen. Phir main bhi apni taraf se chaalu. Bann gaya puraana wala scene. Baatein chaalu hone lagi apni text pe, back to Back replies, fingers exercise. Ab hosh nahi rehta tha main hu kahan pe. Mujhe puraane din yaad aane lage, bilkul waisi hi baatein ho rahi thi. Bass difference itna tha ki sab kuch virtual world pe tha, aur woh saamne nahi thi.
But anyways, baatein to baatein hoti hai na. Aur ek acchi khabar yeh bhi thi ki usne mujhe pehli dafa love emoji bheja tha 😘. Main khushi se pagal yeh mere liye bilkul aam nahi tha. Ab main sach mai aadha pagal ho chuka tha. Par ab mujhe bhi dimaagh se kaam lena tha. Har ek kadam phoonk-phoonk ke chalna tha. Yeh friend....just friend bohot hua, mujhe uska bass boyfriend ban'na tha. Hazaar tips li google se ki propose kaise karte hai dhang se. Face to Face to hogi nahi, poora confidence dikhaunga text pe.
Ab khushi se neend to aati nahi thi, to likhta rehta tha bass poetry. Baat meri chal rahi thi bass chahiye thi uski manzoori. Thodhi aur baatein karne laga main, thodha aur aage badhne laga main. Darr bhi lagta tha usko ajeeb na lage, per aise mauke baar-baar nahi milte. Puraane din kuch yaad aa rahe the, puraane darr bhi phir sata rahe the. Iss baar bhi dil toot gaya to poori tarah bikhar jaunga main. Iss ladki ke alaava koi dikhta bhi nahi, usey yeh kaise samjhaunga main.
Per iss baar position strong lag rahi thi, aur chance bhi mera banta hi tha. Dedh saal ho gaye just friend kehlaaye. Usko bhi to samajhna chahiye na. Yeh aakhiri trial, maine khola messenger aur kuch type karne laga, saja-saja ke baaton ko apne hi tareeke se likhne laga. Likhte-likhte pata hi nahi chala, woh message thoda zyada extend ho gaya. Per baat uss mai sab sacchi thi, aur mujhe pyaari bhi lag rahi thi. To apna digital love letter mujhse send ho gaya.
Phir bade saare sawaal umde, creep, cheap, usey ajeeb to nahi lagega ? Maine text pe usey kaha hai, mujh mai confidence nahi hai saamne khene ka usey aisa to nahi lagega ? Darr lag raha tha mujhe, apne result se bhi zyada. Dil dhadhak raha tha mera zorr se, uska reply kya aayega ? Darr ke maare uske baad maine phone ko haath bhi nahi lagaaya. Himmat hi nahi ho rahi thi messenger onn karne ki. Main kya karta ?
To raat ko soone se pehle maine socha himmat kar lu. Kya jawaab diya hai usne, ek baar padh lu. Maine khola apna messenger, reply kuch aaya tha uska. Main sehma, kaanpti ungle se click kar diya. Maine padha kya likha hai uss mai, bata du ? kya kaha usne ?
"So sorry...I don't think we could be in a relationship. l am already committed to someone else. But we can be friends for sure."
Bhari hui saans meri chal rahi thi padhne ke baad bhi. Main phir late ho gaya kya ? Per yaar iss baar to tum meri honi hi chahiye thi. Maine bahut intezar kiya hai tumhara, per doosre mai aisa kya hai jo mujh mai nahi hai, bolo na ?
Maine koi reply nahi kiya usey, bass iss emoji ke alaava 🙂. Maine saari feelings dafna di apni. Uss hi waqt dil se sab de nikaala.
Doosre sheher, doosre log, koi doosra pasand aa gaya. Main friendzone ke da-dal mai dhasta hi chala gaya. Itne hints dene ke baad kaun reject karta hai yaar ? Woh mere itne close hoti hai aur mujh mai usey bass friend dikhta hai ? Ek hi ladki ke peeche itna kaun padta hai yaar ? One sided love yaar jhootha nahi hota hai, bass ajeeb hota hai.
Kaisi life...kaisi ho gayi. Socha nahi tha...waisi ho gayi. Woh mere itna close aayi aur phir friend ke jaisi ho gayi. Woh reh gayi thi ek khayaal ki tarah, jisey bass socha jaa sakta tha.
-M. N².
